That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
