So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
