i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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