who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
