okay pat passed out under dana's car
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
