trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
