just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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