just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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