you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
