saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
