So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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