High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
