K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
