Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize