oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
