I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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