ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
