90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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