i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
