I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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