She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Randomize
