I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
