i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize