She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
