I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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