dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
