i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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