hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize