sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
