I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize