So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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