Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
