Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
