the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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