I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
