So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
