Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
