We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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