Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
