She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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