I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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