1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
