thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize