my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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