? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my shit smells like andre
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
