She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
