That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
