you guys were way drunker than both of me
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
