woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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