Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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