Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
