I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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