Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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