so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize