Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
