Me too!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
