If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
