haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
