He is an equal opportunity slut.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
