Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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