i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You need a sexual gate keeper
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
