she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
