halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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